How to Melt Your Favorite Jerk:
Disarming Verbal Attackers
When people verbally attack you they can look like a verbal monster. Transform these verbal monsters into verbal “Teddy Bears” within minutes and witness yourself become a verbal Samurai with these high power tools.
Ron McMillan: For years Ron McMillan was the highest rated and most requested trainer which The Covey Leadership Center put in front of their fortune 500 clients. When he did the Relationships Course he walked up to me, and grabbed me by the lapels. (indicating he meant business) He said, “I’ve seen something here that is truly an innovation, and I will do the Awakening, as long as you make me one promise. That you will not let anything stop you from giving me both barrels of feedback and coaching. I thought, “Here’s a guy at the top of his field, who the company charges $9000 a day for his services, and he is demanding feedback and coaching. Why does this make sense!?”
So he did the Awakening, and we gave him very specific feedback and coaching. The next week he went to do a presentation for the biggest company Covey had as an opportunity, AT&T. In the middle of a four day training, the guy in charge of 40,000 people stood up and said, “Ron, I know that you are a good guy, and I know that you mean well. I just don’t think that this material fits for our culture, and rather than spend another two days, I think we should wrap this up and save people some time.” So Ron knows that the next thing out of his mouth is either going to make it or break it. He called me that night to share what happened. Ron walked up to the guy, used the coaching we had given him, spoke the truth with true intent and melted the guy! When it was over, the man turned around and apologized and said, “I hope everyone gets behind this program.”
To this day this man is the biggest executive supporter the “7 Habits of Highly Effective People has at AT&T. Ron won a 6.5 million dollar contract, and thousands of people at AT&T have received the 7 Habits. Do you think Ron was pleased with the coaching? So much so, that he dragged his whole family back to the Awakening.
Later when his partner Joseph Grenny and him took the Awakening were so inspired by the last day when we show people that the greatest leverage for manifesting your personal dreams is to put them inside a higher purpose and vision. There’s a whole science as to how to wire them up your dreams like this. They were both so inspired that they began to look for causes that touched and moved them. When they found Mohamed Unis created micro-loans and was able to bring entire families out of poverty for $5.00 or $10.00 loans, they decided to take his work and spread it worldwide. They were so inspired by that last day of the Awakening, that today they are personally responsible for 3.5 million people coming out of poverty!
They’ve written several best sellers including “Crucial Conversations” and “Influencer” the recent best seller called, ”Change Anything.”
Burt Bunnell: Burt had invented a machine that saves premature babies lives. He’d been battling with a regulatory agency, something like the FDA for years to get it on the market. One day his president upset someone at this agency, so they wrote him a letter saying they wanted to meet with the CEO (Burt). He knew he was in trouble.
That weekend him and his wife got into a fight, and she used “How to melt your favorite Jerk,” and he melted. Then he said, “Wait a minute, what did you just do to me?” She replied, “It’s that skill we just learned in the Relationships Course.” So he called me and wanted to know when the next course was. When I told him in a few months, he said, “I don’t have that much time. Can I hire you to tutor me,” I said, “Of course.” So we spent most of one afternoon, going over it, until he seemed to have it down.
The morning he walked into the agency meeting, there were five of them loaded for bear! He kept using the skills, saying, “So let me see if I’m getting this, what you don’t want is this … and what you do want is this …”
Later that night he called me to tell me his success. After a few hours, they were saying things to him like, “You see Burt, the law is this … but the way you get around it is like this …!” They were actually showing him how to get around their laws! When it was over, two of them were so impressed, that they stayed and asked him, “Burt, have you ever considered running for office?”
- There are innumerable success stories of saved marriages, lost teens becoming successful, and family healing.